Clear the Stage

5 years ago we moved into our current house. We had so many dreams and plans to make this house our lifelong house. When we moved in it was just Chase, myself, RC, and TC. Within the next 4 years we added two more munchkins to the fun. Baby girl just turned a year old on Friday, and let me just tell you that having 3 boys, hubby, and myself is hard enough with one bathroom, I can only imagine the terror it will be in just one year.

I love my house. It was built in 1930, has 4 bedrooms, a dining room, big kitchen, huge living room, and a room I like to call my "sitting room." That's where I am now, sitting in the recliner, listening to the boys wind down behind me, watching Baby Girl in her crib sleeping, listening to the fish tank, and watching the front door waiting for hubby to get home. I can watch the kids play from this spot, watch them eat their snacks at the kitchen table, watch them grow up.

I'm going to be sad to leave this house, but it has become obvious that we have outgrown our little city lot. The kids can't play outside for too long because the neighbor hood kids like to play in the road, and I won't let the kids. I've always dreamed of raising my kids on a farm, with animals to care for, a pond to fish out of, woods to hunt in, a garden to plant and harvest. Since I have graduated nursing school, this dream seems closer to reality. Of course there is always the possibility it could be a few more months before we sale our house, but I've already started preparing myself for that day. We have all grown so much in this house. We have seen heartache, sorrow, joy, and peace come through the doors. I am looking forward to the next leg of our journey.

*CrowderCrew Mom*

Nursing School Adventures

Nursing school adventures began on May 2, 2016. Who would have thought that after 9 years of starting this journey I'd finally be taking a step toward finishing it. 

So here we are mid-February with only one more class and 61 days to go. Life sure has a way of throwing us curves, however one thing has been true. Dream, Dream hard; Trust, Trust God; Study LONG; DON'T GIVE UP! God puts us in situations to mold us and guide us. Without this last year I would have probably crawled back into my old pit of depression and given up dreams that I had dreamed for years. Now that graduation is coming close and I am almost finished with this leg of my journey, I cannot imagine being anywhere else. We can do ANYTHING we set our mind to with God by our side. Pray, seek His will, Follow Him, and He will give you the desires of your heart. It may not be in our time. 

Being a mom to 4 wonderful children is the greatest achievement I will ever make. Before any job, career, or dream my husband and children take top priority. Every decision we have made, every step I take toward getting my Registered Nurse degree, every move I make will ultimately put God and my family first. They give me the courage to finish this journey, to never give up, to always follow my dreams. Ryan, Trey, Burton, and JaeLynn give me hope and a reason to do the things that I do, to achieve the goals that I have set before me. I am so excited about the next leg of my journey. To be a nurse means to be able to make a difference. If it is just in one person's life then it will all be worth it. If it gives my kids the courage to follow their dreams and know that they can be anything they set their minds to then it will be worth it. If it gives my husband the courage to step out of his comfort zone and do what makes him happy then it is worth it. Having a happy, healthy, family makes everything worth it. Every tear, every test, every piece of paper, every plan of care, every drop of ink, every piece of lead, every long day, every long night spent in prayer, IS WORTH IT! There is a reason! God has a plan for my life! 

Live Life in His Plan

Monica

BB was born on April 5th. It seemed that life would be just about perfect. With two big brothers at home, an amazing dad and husband to look up to, and with an amazing support system, how could things not be perfect? I do not know exactly when the darkness slipped up on me, but it did. By the time BB was just a month old postpartum depression had over taken my mind and body. 

I refused to accept it as such even though I had become the mom I never wanted to be. I was mean, short tempered, and easily aggravated. I didn't want to cook. I didn't want to clean. I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to get up out of the bed. I didn't want to change diapers or fix bottles. Of course I HAD to! I had to live, I had to force myself up out of bed to take care of my three boys. One day dear hubby looked at me and point blanked told me "Mon, You HAVE to do something. You have to go to the doctor, or find something to make you better." But I felt like I shouldn't have to. I have God. I have the Holy Ghost. I have been baptized in Jesus name. I should have that Joy Unspeakable, right? I would plaster a fake smile on my face any time I was around anyone other than the hubby and the boys. I would refuse to let anyone see the hurt and pain. I let our finances go and didn't feel the need to take care of anything.
I would still drag myself and the kids to church. And one night there was a message preached about Clearing the Stage and letting go of everything that was keeping us from getting close to God, that was preventing us from allowing Him to work miracles in our life.  That message put a desire in my heart to somehow in any way to get out of this depression. So I decided I would call the doctor.

Then one day right after that I was invited to an Advocare mixer. I had no clue what this was but I wanted to get away from the house. I wanted to get away from the walls that were closing in. I wanted to get away from the bills that were piling up and just go relax. As I tasted the spark and listened to the stories of what Advocare had done for others I begin to think maybe there was something to this. So I had took some samples home. The next day I drank a Spark and I wanted to get off the couch. Oh my what was happening to me? I cleaned house, loved on my babies, and had supper waiting when dear hubby got home. The next day I had another, and the next day I had another! The transformation I felt was amazing. 

I fully believe that God looked down on me on the night that I poured my heart out to Him and decided He was going to place something in my life that would prevent me from having to get on an anti-depressant. He was going to place something in my life that would allow me to help over come our financial issues. That would allow me to be successful! It has been a struggle out of the darkness. There are some days I still don't feel like taking care of anything. But I DO! I get up, I take care of my kids, I WANT to survive. I WANT to be successful. I WANT to be better! That's the difference in my life! 

Are you struggling to overcome a darkness in your life? Clear the stage of your heart from everything that is hindering you from seeking God. Fall on your face surrender everything to Him. Let Him guide you! Let Him lead you! He will lead you to success. He will lead you to that joy unspeakable. He will give you the desires of your heart as long as that desire is to glorify Him. Don't suffer in silence. Don't let the darkness close in! Let God Love you back to life.

Live Life In His Plan!

Monica